my world my words

Friday, November 27, 2009

NICKNAMES
-If Summer, Marissa and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Summer, Marissa and Sarah.
-If Ryan, Farhan and Keith go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Pig, Godzilla and Scarecrow.

EATING OUT
-When the bill arrives, Ryan, Farhan and Keith will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
-When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
-A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
-A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
-A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
-The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
-A woman has the last word in any argument.
-Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
-A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
-A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
-A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
-A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
- woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
-A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP -A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
-A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
-Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
-Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
-A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
-A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

♥ 6:38 PM